Quality Bits

Finding your WHY with Dr. Rochelle Carr

September 05, 2023 Lina Zubyte Season 2 Episode 1
Quality Bits
Finding your WHY with Dr. Rochelle Carr
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Do you remember your childhood dreams? What did you want to be when you grew up? How did you imagine your life?

Dr. Rochelle Carr is a coach and speaker on a mission to shift people's lives and encourage them to rediscover their why: the guiding light purpose which sparks joy in whatever we do. In this episode, Lina talks to Dr. Rochelle about finding your why, escaping society's "mold" on who we should be, drafting an "exit plan," and learning from failures.

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Thank you for listening! ✨

Lina Zubyte (00:06):
Hi everyone. Welcome to Quality Bits. A podcast about building high-quality products and teams. I'm your host, Lina Zubyte. It's season two, episode one. In this first episode, I really wanted to have a topic that is somehow lighthearted, but essential, inspiring, and making us think. I found a wonderful guest! Dr. Rochelle Carr, the CEO of path forward empowerment popped into my Mastodon feed when someone said that her keynote in Agile Testing Days USA called "The Why You Are" really inspired them. I was like, I have to talk to her. So in this episode, we are talking about discovering our why, how to deal with failures, how to create exit plan when we need it, and what matters in our lives when we want to move forward and improve. Enjoy this episode.

Hi Rochelle! Welcome to Quality Bits.

Dr. Rochelle Carr (01:26):

Lina Zubyte (01:27):
It's great to have you here today, especially because I wanted to start the season with this topic of finding your why because a lot of us are struggling to discover and understand what we want actually. And it's so funny because I set my mind on it and I realized what I want and I discovered you. So I found someone's feedback about your talk. So let's start with your why. What is your why? How did you discover what you want to do? Tell me something about yourself.

Dr. Rochelle Carr (02:04):
Oh my God, what a journey. I think I knew my why when I was 12 actually, and I understood my purpose in a sense of I love to speak, I love to talk to people. I say that I'm an introvert. People say that I'm not. So oftentimes looking at - wow I'm in this space where I deal with a lot of people very often - is always strange to me. However, I knew that I wanted to speak to people, didn't know what capacity at 12 of course, but I just knew that I enjoyed getting up in front of audiences, making them laugh, making them think, making them just stare me blankly often because the message is resonating. So I chose that path to speak. I was called into ministry, so I am an ordained minister, so that was another love I had: I grew up in the church and so hearing the African-American preach sermons every Sunday just has always been something that thrilled me.

And so as I got older and went to college, before the word "coaching" was something big, I always liked helping people navigate through their path. And so when coaching became the thing to do or the norm, I was like, oh yeah, I want to continue doing that. And so that's my passion is to help other people find their why. And it doesn't matter whether you're 12 or whether you're 72 or 62, not everybody knows their why until they have that what I call the aha moment to say, yeah, that's what I was created to do. I always say there's two special days in your life, the day you were born, everybody celebrates you and the day you find your why, that's when you celebrate yourself. And so with that, that has been my passion because when I understood my why, then I wanted to make sure everyone else celebrated their why and knew their why.

Lina Zubyte (04:24):
Lovely. There's this quote in "Little Prince" which says that once you make up your mind and you want something really bad, the whole universe conspires you in helping you get it. I really love this quote. And recently I was talking to my friends about the wants we have, the dreams we have in our lives, and some of them were a little bit stumbled. They didn't know what they want. They did not know what their why is. And we are living in this society where certain steps are laid for us. You should get a job, you should get a house, you should get a family. How do you get out of this societal steps and realize what you actually want, not the society wants it for you?

Dr. Rochelle Carr (05:11):
One of the things that I always, when I talk to people I'm coaching or if I'm on the stage and I'm dealing with knowing your why, I say this, if you don't know your why, someone else will tell you what your why is. And that's called control. We go through life with people, in a sense, controlling and moving us through life, telling us what our why should be. Our parents tell us what's our why, our school tell us what's our why. Society tells us what's our why. And that's why when we have the aha moment in life, when we understand our why, then we take back that control steps that I often tell people is be bold enough to understand: when you discover your why, that you're going to make mistakes. And I think a lot of time people are in the comfort zones. Everything has been so very comfortable for them that they don't want to step out now.

They know they're uncomfortable. They know that they're in a space and a place that this is not where I'm supposed to be. I mean, yeah, I make a good salary if I have a good career, but it's something so very deep inside of me that keeps me up at night. Or when I'm sitting at my desk looking out the window of this great office that I have at work and knowing that that six, $10,000 a week paycheck is coming, I'm still unhappy. That's when I have people deep dive into what did you want to do when you grew up? Go back to that day when you said, I want to be this when I grow up. And somewhere between you dreaming and celebrating as a kid, as a child, what you wanted to do when you grew up, go back to that moment and then let's move forward in finding that passion.

Because oftentimes when we celebrate as a kid, this is what I want to do. I want to be this, I want to do that. Other people say, oh, no, no, no, no, you want to go to school, you want to do this. You want to get a career, you want to get married, you want to have babies, you want to grow old. You want to have a retirement. But the little kid inside of you is screaming, that's not what I want to do. And so going back to your inner kid passion always navigates you toward a place of peace, a place of happiness, a place of joy and a place where you understand your why. And then begin to navigate through, I call it the wilderness of dismantling everything that people have stamped on us as to what we're supposed to be. And oftentimes when people start dismantling those other people's stamps and what I should be, that's when joy comes in their life, that's when they're the happiest. And then people say, oh my God, you look so different. What's going on? What are you doing? It is because I understand my why and I've let go of everyone else's what I'm supposed to be. And now I can celebrate my moment now because I understand my why, my purpose, not for me, but to share what I have with others.

Lina Zubyte (08:30):
Sometimes other people tell us, if you don't know, we may just go with the flow, even if it does not speak close to our hearts. And we may find ourselves in these jobs that we have and they are well paid, but then it's so scary just to drop everything and just say, Hey, I had this childhood dream and I'll do it. I have actually one friend who had a different career and now at 36 she's like, okay, I'm going back to university to study archeology. I always wanted to do that. And now when I meet her, she's so excited and she's like, oh, we will go dig somewhere in Romania and try to find something. And it's so inspiring yet come to think of it, I'm like, what was my childhood dream? Well, maybe to be a teacher, which is sometimes also a little bit do as well with advocacy and speaking, things like that. But what if you wanted to be an astronaut and it's not really something that you can very easily do? Is there ever something that's a thing that it's too late and maybe I need to rediscover what I want now with whatever skills I have?

Dr. Rochelle Carr (09:40):
I think when you know what that why is it ever too late to reach the pinnacle of the Everest? And whatever your Everest is, that's your Everest and no one else can take that. Now at 60-something can you say, what I want is when I grow up, I want to be an astronaut. Is it that something you could navigate in that space? That maybe you don't go to the moon, maybe you don't go to the Mars, maybe you don't go to other places, but you can help others, then you can navigate their path to help them. I think that there's amount of joy that happens when maybe you've already at the peak of the Everest, but you still want to be able to live in your why. And I think you can do that. I always celebrate my mom because my mom was 68 when she got her bachelor's degree and she was determined that once we all graduated, I have two younger brothers, once we all graduated, she said, I want to go back to school.

And so she started taking a class at a time. She was a caretaker for my grandmother, and she would get off from work, go take a class at a local community college. And once she finished there, she was like, okay, I got to keep going. And so she went to one of the close universities up the street and she graduated. Did she want to do anything with that degree? Not really. She wanted to say I got my degree. And that's something that she has celebrated because that was her Everest. Not only did she get a degree, but she graduated with honors. So I don't think it's ever too late to celebrate or know your why or move in a space of your purpose. It just might look a little different than if you understood or you were able to navigate at 20 then 52 or 62 or 72.

I talk to women's groups all the time, and when we talk about your why and your purpose, I have a lot of, I call 'em saged women that have come up and been like, I'm going back to do what I always wanted to do, so I celebrate that because it's never too late and your Everest is not my Everest. And so whatever that is, I think we should all celebrate without saying or bringing negativity, like, "Really? Don't you think you're too old to do that?" You're never too old to accomplish what you want to do. And so I believe that there's no expiration date on your why. There's no expiration date on your purpose. And then once we get to that space, then we can celebrate our own why.

Lina Zubyte (12:39):
Sometimes we may understand our why, but then it may change. There's also specialists versus generalists, right? And for generalists, it may be really hard to make a why because it may change in two years.

Dr. Rochelle Carr (12:55):
That's true. And I always tell people, be open to change. Your why is not concrete and it can shift at any moment and you have to be open to that shift, but it's all connected. That's the thing that I love about your purpose that's specialized to you. Your why that's important to understand why you're here is that even if it shifts, it's not so dramatic that you have to start over. It's in the same vein, it's in the same line, it's in the same understanding. And what I mean by understanding that it's the mindset that's still moving and connected to whatever that next level is. And so I tell people when they have that second rebirth of I know my why, I was like, don't get stuck there. Be open to possibilities of what's the next. Give yourself permission to understand that this is a journey.

It is a marathon. It is not a sprint. So enjoy as you are going down the highway of purpose that you celebrate, those things are coming your way. And once you understand that, then even if you take a detour here, it's not so much off the beaten path that's going to take you away from your purpose. It's going to melt with your purpose. It's going to enhance your purpose, it's going to enhance your why. It's going to enhance the ability to then share with other people an understanding of what you have as far as purpose and goals in life and growth.

Lina Zubyte (14:34):
Every experience, every skill that we obtain can be useful in our future steps. And sometimes we may be a little bit dramatic or zero or one kind of thinking. We may think, okay, if I switch my career, everything I've done so goes to waste. But it doesn't. It makes us, it makes us certain unique, beautiful people we are. And those skillsets always can be, as you say, enhanced. They are enhancing our why. So sometimes they even look at certain people's career paths. For example, going to quality analysis from being a lawyer. And you may wonder what does that have to do with it? But when you dig deeper, you may think, Hey, you could even specialize maybe in this helping out these very complex cases to understand their quality because you have that skillset or communication, you definitely know how to negotiate and how to help out. So it's like we're not dropping any skills that we're gaining on the way, but the change is really hard. We're really scared. We're starting from scratch completely.

Dr. Rochelle Carr (15:43):
I think you said this, that there's always a overlap of skills. There's always an overlap of understanding and knowledge. I talked to a lady one time, she was a homemaker. I call her a home engineer because that's probably the most complex job. If we understood how our parents navigated through raising us going to work and doing all keeping it, I don't like keeping out. And so she said, I have no skills. I mean, she was so in a sense dejected because she felt she did not have skills and she wanted to go in the workplace and do something. Her kids were grown, they were going to college. And so I said, let's sit down and let's go through a question and answer and we're going to find a stack of skills that you have that's going to translate all across the workspace. She was like, all I did was keep house.

All I did was do this. All I did was take care of the kids. All I did. So when we finished the 25 questions and went through those questions, I said, now here's your resume. Let's build this resume. And so if you decide to go to school, get a couple of classes, you can become a counselor. She was like, oh my God. I said, here are your skillsets. So I got a job description for a counselor. The only thing she was missing was the degree. And I said, and then if you want to spend a little more time in school, you can be a therapist and do that. I said, but your skillset say that you would be perfect as a counselor. And she was like, oh my God. I always wanted to be a counselor. I always wanted to be in education. I didn't want to teach, but I wanted to be a counselor.

But I got married, I started having kids. And so it was our agreement that I was stay home and take care of the kids. And I said, well, guess what? Now you living your purpose. You've always lived in your purpose. It's just look different than what you thought it should be. So now let's continue to move forward. And so I think people don't see that what they do every day, their skillsets that they have always measure up and lead you to understanding the greater good of your why and the purpose of which you are here.

Lina Zubyte (18:04):
It's really nice because you can definitely provide value and we forget it. We lose confidence. We don't understand that we have our own kind of unique set of abilities that other people could be inspired by. They could learn from. I don't know what to do when sometimes some friends say, I don't know what I want. It's almost like you want to shake them. You have all these gifts and you're such a great person. You could teach this and that to people, but they're like, I'm so tired. I'm so burnt out. I don't know what I want. I want to sleep. And then I would say, maybe that is what you should do because you need sleep in order to be creative, to stop for a moment and to breathe. What would you say to your friend who's like, I dunno, when you ask them what they want?

Dr. Rochelle Carr (18:53):
Oh my god, I have a friend that's like that now. She literally the saying, burning the candle at both ends. Excellent coach a person who loves to develop students, that's her gift. That's her purpose, that's her why. And you know are good at something when people come back or call you 10 years from now and say, Hey, I want to say thank you because what you imparted into me has now made me the father, that I am the mother that I am, the worker that I am has set me on a trajectory that I don't think if my path didn't cross yours, it never would've happened. I shouldn't say, but... however, she stuck in a job where it's complete toxicity. It is just not a good place. But there's pockets where she deals with students and the light goes off, the sun shines and all of that stuff.

We all have to survive. We all have to have a place where we can make a check. And stuff like that. But I always ask, what's your ultimate goal? You have all of these gifts, you understand clearly your why, but often people that clearly understand their why are often scared to make that first step, to step out and say, this is what I want to do. I want to coach. I want to speak. I want to go out and help students. I just want to deal with students, college students and help them navigate the, I call it the war path of college and know when they get out what they want to do. But the security blanket for most of us is I got to have a paycheck, which is, yeah, you got to pay your bills, you got to pay for where you live.

If you have a car, you got to do all of those things that I say make us adults. But if that paycheck is stopping us or hindering us from joy, good health, vitality of life, how do we move forward? And that's what I always ask this question. If every day you dread waking up, going to a space is that the purpose? Is that's the place you're supposed to be? So then how do you make a plan to exit? Because all the signs of you need to exit are there. You just have to have a sense of empowerment within self to know when it's time to exit and then make an exit plan. So I deal with a lot of people that are stuck because this is their livelihood. If I step back and take a rest, I might go financially broke. That's when I say, well, let's make an exit plan.

Let's make an exit strategy. Because the longer you stay there in a place that's toxic, that a place that's... your physical body now the stress of that place manifests physically and now you're sick. Now you have aches and pains. So it just manifests in a whole lot of ways when we are not able to live out our why in a space where it is appreciated in a place where the value, my values are not necessarily the same, but there's a compatibility of values that we want this space to be better. We want the people that come in to be better. And I think that's where oftentimes that collide or the barriers start when we just keep running into those toxic places and we know in the back of our mind, that's not where we're supposed to be, but I don't have an exit strategy to get me to where I need to be so that I can live out my why and my purpose.

Change is always scary. And anything that we do new for the first time is always like, oh my God, it's taking my breath away. But if I know I need to cross over the bridge to walk into a better space, but I don't like bridges, then I'm going to get somebody to come along with me that I know supports me, that I know that has the same mindset as I do to journey with me so that I can make it over that bridge. And so I would say that always have people around you that are positive, that will speak truth to power, that will embrace you, that will sit you down to be accountable so that when you don't do the necessary things that are oh, a hundred percent right, they say, Hey, let's think about this. I want to put the mirror up to you.

Let's rethink this. As you are navigating through all of this, have accountability partners that are there that will help you and be with you and support you as you journey. And so then when you are able to make the exit out to then walk fully in your why and your purpose, you have a support group because it is scary changing. And so you have this support group that's saying, Hey, we got you. We're here. Whatever you need. And you're able to then walk, you're able to then celebrate rebirth and their newness of that's why I'm here so I can navigate in this.

Lina Zubyte (24:37):
People are essential. We are helping each other out. And sometimes when I have hard moments, I would struggle in the past to tell my friends, I would be like, Ooh, I'm independent, strong. But then there was this saying that someone said, are you actually independent and strong if you're not asking for help when you need help? So if you were the strongest one, you would actually realize that you need help. And when I tell my friends about it, they are so supportive. Sometimes I am almost crying when I hear back from some of the friends when I'm facing something hard and they're like, you will go through it. You got it. And I'm not saying just because of politeness, but because I know you and as you said also someone who basically a little bit challenges you, who keeps you accountable. I think that's also essential.

And sometimes we may not be ready for it. We may not accept that person because we're not trusting maybe them enough or we are not ready for change. We are comfortable. We just want to stay in certain base. And change is extremely, extremely scary. I'm wondering how do you, for example, you know that you want to do something else, you have a salary, which is sort of also I'm thinking how my mom, for example, when I was sometimes struggled with the job, she would say, yeah, but it pays the bills. And that was a generational gap, right? So it wasn't like a support because in her times to have a job that was a privilege and it is a privilege. It still is a privilege right now, for example, when there's a layoffs happening and it's hard to get into the market. But what are the first steps we can do when for example, we're not easily finding the dream job or we need some kind of plan as you said, or exit strategy. What steps could I take here?

Dr. Rochelle Carr (26:30):
I hope I quote this right, Shirley Chisholm said, if there's not a chair at the table and you're not invited to the table, bring your own chair. And so oftentimes when there's a space, you're working. And yes, my mother has said that to me too, but he pays the bills. And I'm like, but I'm miserable. I'm unhappy. Get your own chair and make a space, meaning you might have to start your own business. You might have to work there a little while in that unhappy space. But knowing all the time, my exit is in five years, I'm going to have a business that's mine doing what I want to do, my why, my purpose, and I've given myself a five-year exit. So when I begin to actually visualize, I have a five-year exit plan. I'm working on my business at night. I'm working on my business during the weekend so that in five years on this date on October, blah, blah, blah, whatever that date is set, I now could move into this space that's now mine, that's aligned with my why, aligned with my purpose.

And so sometime we have to, unless we have a goal. And that's why I always talk to people like, what's your vision for your life? Just like a company, you should have your own vision. You should have your own mission for your own life. And most people say, why do I need a vision? Why do I need a mission? Vision navigates where you're going. The mission tells you how to get to what I call the north star, which is your vision. And most people say, I don't have a vision, I don't have a mission. Well, let's sit down and do a vision and mission because once you then hone in on your vision, it better helps you understand your why. If you understand your why and you don't have a vision, then it's easy to write the vision. Then it's easier to write the mission because now you're able to break down and filter out all the other extra stuff that really is not a part of your why in your purpose.

So I always start with the five-year plan. Let's sit down and then we have milestones along the way because it's important for people to understand that we have two choices in life. We can stay where we are and at the end of our life, do we have more questions as to say, why didn't I do this? I could have done this, I could have done this. Or at the end of your life, do you want to say, Hey, I accomplished 90% of the stuff I wanted to do and the 10% of the stuff that I failed at, at least I tried. And that's the life for me of fulfillment is that I don't have the would've could have, should have. Oh, I wish I had done this, I wish I had went there. It doesn't have to be perfect, but at least try to get to those spaces that are a part of your purpose and your why of life.

So that's how I would help people to start or help people to start in trying to push from where they are to getting to the next step or just beginning to put your foot in the water. And so I gave this analogy one time. I was like, how many people, if you are in a cool place or you at the beach and it's kind of cool, you just run and jump in the water. And most people are like, oh no, it might be cold. And I said, so what do you do? You test it with your foot. You literally put a toe in there, you are like, oh is cold. You step back, then you put your foot. So eventually you put each part of your body into the water until you recognize, oh, it's matching the temperature of my body and now I'm in the water.

I said, that's navigating towards your why. It's that oftentimes we have to test by putting a thought into it. Oh, that's sort of scary. So I stepped back, okay, tomorrow I'm going to spend a week on it, a month on it, and then finally then find yourself really engulfed and engaged and navigating to that next level and the next purpose. No matter how many barriers are there, I'm going to keep going because I know this is not where I'm supposed to be, and the water really isn't that cold. I just have to get in and then begin to navigate in those waters.

Lina Zubyte (31:03):
One of my friends said that she's afraid to tell what her whys are or what her dreams are because then she will be somehow accountable to make it happen. And I was like, yeah, but that's the point. That's why you say what you want. And I think we're scared to say what we want because maybe we're disappointed where we are right now. We may feel shame, we may be feeling some kind of guilt, embarrassment that we are in this state and we're allowing ourselves to be at it. But even acknowledging our needs and dreams, I think it's a big step and we should be kind to ourselves for doing it right and it will keep us accountable. It's work, it's experiments, and it's effort and trial and it's failure. How do you deal with failure when you think this is your why and you're terrible at it, what happens then?

Dr. Rochelle Carr (31:57):
But failure is only failure when you don't use it as a stepping stone. If I look back on everything that I failed at and I allow that to be the baggage in my life, I still will be stuck. But if I use failure as a stepping stone of learning, so I turn failure into something that I can use that now projects me to my next level. And if individuals would do that, then they will recognize at the end of the day they're in a higher level at the top of a peak and they look back and like, oh, how did I get here? It's because I didn't let the failures control my destiny. And so many people allow their failures to be fears. They stop and they become stagnant and they don't want to move. And then they have pity party friends. They don't want the positive friends around them.

That means they got to move. But they circle themselves with people that say, oh yeah, just stay at that job. It pays the bills. Just stay there. You might get a career advancement, you might get a promotion, but this is comfortable. Just be comfortable, be happy you got a job. It's so many people without jobs and stuff like that. But at the end of the night, at the end of the day, at the end of life, you are so unsettled because you allow those failures to stop you from ultimately reaching that place that you were born and created to be. 50 is not a period, 50 is a comma. 55 is not a period if 55 is a comma. And so once we pause at the comma, then we can begin now to celebrate because we take inventory of our life to say, okay, these are my successes, these are my failures.

I don't get stuck in my failures because I am now celebrating that I overcame my failures. I've used my failures now. Or how can I use my failures to now help me to project me to the next step, next level in my life? And if nobody teaches us how to use failures as a projectile to project us to another place, we'll always be stuck in those failures. And I think a lot of people don't ever look back at fears and failures, but I think it's important to do that because when we look at failures, those are the things that build us. Those are the things that makes us stronger. Those are the things that say, Hey, I failed at this, but guess what? I rearranged and navigated through that failure and it's made me a better person. Success is celebration. I mean, you've got a new job, you got to do this, you got to do that.

You celebrate that. But failures, those stepping stones, those bricks that keep support us and foundational. So I think what people understand that even if they're not in a space that they're supposed to be in, maybe it's time to take an inventory of where you are now and where you've come from so that you could see all the hurdles, all the gaps, all the things that you actually made it through. And then when you begin to ask yourself, well, how did I make it through it? How did I make it here? How did I make it without support? How did I make it with making just a little money on the job? The how then helps you move toward and focus on, I can do so much better because now I understand that my failures and my fears, they didn't make me weaker. It made me stronger.

So we got to turn the fear and failure into something positive because it really is something positive unless you are stuck and it's almost like quicksand and it's just continuously pulling you down. And there's no survival in that because you'll go through life always saying, I'll never, ever, ever. And we all know people that when they walk in the room, you're like, oh my goodness, let everybody be on. Stay on 10 because here comes the person that's going to be like you. How are you doing today? And they're like, oh, life sucks. I can't do this. And you're like, oh my God, really? So you always want to make sure that for yourself, you are always navigating with positivity as you are navigating through life with the fears and the failures, and surround yourself with people that understand that and celebrate. I think it goes back to that piece about accountability.

Even if I'm not here, I not only want my hype friends to be there, the hype ones like, yes, celebrate with me. But I want those friends that say, Hey, Rochelle, sit down and listen. I don't think you did that right. And this is the reason why. And I want you to really look at that. And I think when we're open to that constructive criticism or those, I call 'em the big girl pills to help us be better or the big boy pills to help us be better. And it's coming from a place of love and a place of care of friends or colleagues that really, really care about you, celebrate those moments that those people are in your life for a reason to help you navigate. Because they see your purpose, they see your why, and they want to lift you to that purpose. Because when you're lifted, you're lifting others too. And that's why we're here, not for us. It's for the people that we're serving, the people that are around us.

Lina Zubyte (38:00):
It's such a good action point for anyone listening to be truthful to ourselves, to think about our lives and our wants and needs and what makes us happy and what does not make us happy and admit it, and maybe add more things that we like into our lives. So to come full circle, this podcast is usually about high quality products and teams, which is also people. What is your one piece of advice to building high quality products and teams?

Dr. Rochelle Carr (38:38):
Oh, wow. So I have a talk that I do call teamwork isn't always a dream: building a culture of accountability. And I grew up with this saying, people will say, "there's no I in team". Well, of course "there's no I in team". I'd be like, that's a dumb saying. But as I grew into understanding what teamwork really is, then I understood that saying better than just saying "there's no I in team". Because there are individuals, we all come individuals to the team on the "I". But what makes the team productive that puts out the greater output of working and quality is that we celebrate those "I"s that are part of the team, and we listen to the voices at the table of the team. We listen to the ideas. I always say the leader is not the person with the title. The leaders are the people that come to the table and are able to hear the voices at the table.

And great leaders understand that just because I have the title doesn't mean that I'm the greatest person at the table. And so in understanding that when you look at building the high quality products, you got to have high quality team members. You got to have people that are coming to the table knowing that even if my idea that I'm bringing to the table is just say mid-par, I don't like to use the word subpar mid-par, somebody on my team is going to be like, oh, Lina, guess what about this, this, and this. And you are like, yes, yes. And so now that mid par idea that just needed a little other component is now the greatest idea at the table. Because everybody on the team, those "I"s, individuals at the table are part of a team that is undergirded by support, understanding cultural diversity, understanding that we all have value, and the value that we have at the table equals the greater of the product that we produce to give out.

And I think that sometime what's missing at the table is that we have so many managers and not leaders. You can have the title of manager, but if you're not a leader, you're only managing, but you can be a manager and be a great leader. And now you're leading people because you're never going to a place or sending your team to a place that you're not willing to go. And I think that that's the great difference that we have a lot of people that are managers that don't understand that, hey, my whole team of leaders, they all come with high values, they all come with ideas, they all come with a different perspective. And that this is what makes the quality of a great team, is that these "I"s that are sitting around the table, that each come with value, that's going to make the company organization greater than what it is.

And if I sit back and lead them, not manage them, then the greater the production, the greater the growth, the greater the outcome. And I think that's a part of helping everybody, even in that situation understand why. It goes back to that when I am confident in my why, even sitting around the table of team because I am an individual, but I'm celebrating in this team, I am more creative, I am more productive. I think about now, oh, it's Monday. I cannot wait to get to work. I cannot wait to get on the team meeting because I am celebrated and I am valued. And because I know that productivity of this company is going to be growth and outstanding and see that. And I think a lot of places that's missing is because you have managers that manage, they don't lead and they don't value the "I"s that are sitting around the table, that make up the team that is ultimately responsible for greater production of whatever that product or whether it's physical or not, is within the company's growth.

Lina Zubyte (43:24):
And I think once we understand our why, we can also surround ourselves with people that support us. And that's, I think another big conversation. How to be truthful to ourselves about the places we work at.

Dr. Rochelle Carr (43:37):

Lina Zubyte (43:38):
Thank you so much for your time. It was such a lovely conversation.

Dr. Rochelle Carr (43:42):
Thank you. Thank you for the invite, and thank you to your audience for listening. I greatly appreciate it.

Lina Zubyte (43:50):
That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. I hope it inspired you to reconnect with your wishes, and you are thinking about not only what you wanted to be when you grow up, but also what do you want to grow into. I leave you with this question, and I hope you can answer it and really live this authentic, beautiful life, which is essential for great teams. So until next time, do not forget to keep on caring about and building those high quality products and teams. Bye.

How to escape societal expectations when it comes to our wants and needs?
Is it ever too late?
What if your "Why" changes?
What if you have no idea what/where you should be?
Making an Exit strategy
Steps to take towards your dreams
How to deal with failing?
Rochelle's advice on building high-quality products and teams